Tips for parents – useful answers for curious children from Jennie Lindon, Child Psychologist and Consultant to Guess with Jess

Once children are three or four years old their curiosity comes out in lots of questions, as well as wanting to get their hands on anything interesting. Sometimes, you will long for a bit of peace, but it is important to find that extra patience. 

Your child’s searching questions are a window onto their thinking and you will make a difference to how they find out about their world. Childhood can be such an exciting time because young girls and boys are discovering what we take for granted. You can join in the wonder of your child’s first sight of   falling snowflakes. Young children are fascinated by the sight of rainwater rushing along the gutter. Their questions may emerge right then or at a later time – and where exactly does the water go after it hurtles down the drain? 

Ideally, you reply to your children’s questions at the time they ask.  

• Listen carefully and answer with a couple of sentences. Pause, or say, ‘Does that answer your question?’  
• Children let you know if they are still curious or puzzled. Your answer may also lead to another question from them. 
• Sometimes – not always – you can put the question back to your child. You might say, ‘What do you think?’ or ‘Have you got any ideas?’  
• Some quirky questions from fours and fives really invite your comment of, ‘What set you wondering about that?’ or ‘That’s such a good question. I’ve never thought about how worms breathe.’ 
• It is alright to admit that you’re not sure about how spiders build webs. You can start with, ‘I think that…  But, sometimes your honest answer is, ‘I really don’t know exactly how the lights work’.  But you follow with, ‘I’ve got a good idea how we can find out….’

You can look together at information and picture books – those you have at home but also go to the library together. You can ask someone else – family or friend – who knows more. Let your child determine how much ‘research’ is enough for now.

Older children need to learn steadily how to search safely on the internet. You should always be with your young child at the computer screen – and it is preferable that you’ve already found a good information site or images. 

Sometimes the best answer to a practical question is to do something to find out what happens when….. Any ‘home experiments’ obviously need your adult awareness of safety, as well as consideration for living creatures.   

Occasionally you really can’t answer right now and your child will understand, so long as you give a simple explanation.

• Perhaps you need to say, ‘Let me just finish tightening this screw, then I’m all yours.’ 
• Or you would rather not explain the finer details of ‘pee and poo’ in front of a supermarket queue of strangers.  Say something like, ‘That question deserves a good answer. We’re going to have a proper conversation as soon as we’ve bought our food.’ Keep your promise.  
• When you feel rushed or embarrassed, it’s tempting to give any old answer just to end that conversation. The moment need not be lost, so long as you get back to your child very soon. 
• You might admit later that day, ‘I didn’t give you a very good answer to your question about… Can I have another go now?’ 

Sometimes, children’s questions simmer for a while in their head before they pop out. 

• You have a good opportunity to say, ‘I can tell you’ve been thinking about that lovely rainbow we saw’ – then start to answer the actual question.
• You may notice that children return to a big area of knowledge, like the whole business of babies, at their own pace and over a matter of weeks, or even months.
• Sometimes it is these long-running series that give you a good reason to say in your turn, ‘I’ve been wondering about…’

Some questions, even from children younger than five years of age, touch on the really big issues. A good rule of thumb is that, if children are able to ask this question, then they deserve an answer.

• Some under fives do ask the big question about what happens when people die.  Be ready to say, ‘In this family, we believe that..’ or ‘Some people believe that..’  
•  It is impossible to shield young children from every distressing news item. Keep it simple and keep it honest – sometimes you have to admit that bad things happen in this world.  
• Finally, think carefully about telling children anything that is actually untrue – even when you feel you have a good reason.  You want your child to trust you.   

Young children are at the beginning of a long learning journey; there is so much they do not know. They need to be keen to find out and confident that they can learn. In family life you can help your son or daughter to feel undaunted by the fact that, at the moment, they do not know an answer, are puzzled or very confused. Children deserve some straight answers to their questions, but also your genuine enthusiasm for finding out with them. It’s not helpful when parents believe they should always be the ‘expert adult’. You can help children experience comfortably that it’s alright to be wrong. Sometimes that’s the only way to find the turning towards the right answer. 

Guess with Jess® is an enquiry-based learning show aimed at 2 to 5 year olds.

Jess and his friends search for the answers to questions about the world around them, just like real kids do!

They’re typical youngsters, curious about their world and eager to learn about its many wonders.

Each episode begins with a BIG QUESTION, which is answered by ASKING more questions, then TESTING ideas and ultimately FINDING A WAY to the right answer!

Learning is presented as a process, as the right answer isn’t simply handed to Jess and his friends.

Instead, they learn by asking questions - thinking, exploring, and trying out a variety of different solutions.

Guess with Jess® helps children understand how to discover answers for themselves and helps them build the cognitive tools they’ll need for a life of learning to come!